Freshman Homecoming was stressful. To begin with, people were talking about Homecoming in, like, August. People were freaking out. In order to help prevent the disasters so many face during school dances, I hope to shed some light on the classic dos and don’ts of these events.

To start, I would just like to point out that one of the reasons dances can be so awkward is that you aren’t guaranteed, at least early in your high school career, to go with someone you like, someone you’re friends with, or even someone you know. Just kidding, you’ll probably know them. Though these situations are not ideal for an enjoyable dance experience, your only option is to make the best of it. If they asked you to the dance in the first place, you should at least make efforts at being a pleasant date. If you really don’t like the person, first of all why exactly are you going to a school dance with them? And second, don’t be the freak with your eyes rolled so far back in your head you can practically see your brain the whole night.

Planning the evening can be mayhem, but the best thing to remember is to allow guys to plan Homecoming, and girls to plan Sweetheart (freshmen: the dance in the spring in which girls ask guys). HOWEVER: if you reach a point at which no one has planned anything, it’s okay to step up. Restaurants get booked and you might end up on a Coach bus instead of a party bus. Big difference. There are two basics when it comes to planning. Do: invest in a party> bus or limo; they make the evening a lot more enjoyable. Don’t: invest in an expensive restaurant- it isn’t worth it. You’ll have just as much fun eating at a cheaper place. Do: get keepsake shirts. Don’t: overpay. Also, make sure the names are double-checked. I have a friend whose homecoming t-shirt has a random person’s last name on it. Try to avoid that.

Others lessons you might just have to learn from experience. Girls: don’t wear an ugly dress. That sounds stupid, but seriously one of your friends should be able to tell you if it’s ugly based on some basic criteria: Is it poofy? Is there excess glitter? Are there bows all over it? Another huge don’t of dresses: don’t wear a dress where there is any sort of potential what so ever of your butt cheek showing or revealing “too much” during the night, not cute. Wear good shoes. If your feet hurt within the first five minutes of wearing the shoes, there’s a problem–uncomfortable shoes can put a serious damper on any night. Even more importantly than that, wear shoes you can walk in! If you can’t walk in your shoes, you will A) Look like an idiot and feel like an idiot. I know I personally can’t help but chuckle at people who teeter around, or better yet, trip and fall. Besides, the taller you are the harder you fall; you don’t want that.

Here is one lesson I had to learn the hard way. If you’re going to get your makeup done professionally, it is always smart to do a test run before the day of the dance. I thought this was a dumb suggestion, but against my better judgment I went a few days before the dance, and I am so glad I did. To say the least, the make-up artist made me look like a baby prostitute. I vaguely remember there being neon pink lip gloss involved. She also managed to make my skin look dull and greasy, which seems to defeat the purpose of makeup. You don’t want something like that happening right before the dance.

Boys: wear a good suit! A nice, dark colored one. No one wants you showing up looking like their grandpa in some tweed or checkered get up. DON’T and I repeat DON’T get your hair cut immediately before the dance. For some unbeknownst reason, practically no boy knows how to correctly instruct their barber, thus, their head is almost always butchered. Therefore, get it cut a week before, this way there will at least be time for it to grow out. Also, don’t go to pictures with wet hair. You would think that’s a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised what some are capable of. Don’t do it.

In terms of pictures, do: color coordinate/DON’T clash. If your date’s dress is red maybe don’t show up with a bright yellow tie? Just a suggestion. Both ladies and gentlemen: don’t forget the flowers. For guys the corsage and for girls the boutonnière. It happens all the time, and pictures are stressful enough. Don’t stress yourself out more by getting all the way there, and then having to send someone back. If you were born from freaks, as I was, DO prepare them for pictures. If there is any potential for your mom to look at the boy, point to them and whisper/shout “He’s CUTE!” make sure you give them a good talk before pictures. Do: smile nicely with your arm around your date in pictures. For one, it really matters to your parents. And otherwise you might as well have two second graders pose for you, considering most of them think the opposite sex has something seriously, grotesquely wrong with them.

In terms of the actual evening, don’t be the group that shows up too early to the dance. Awkward. Don’t forget you have a date, as in, don’t just ditch them for the dance floor, or another person. Girls frequently just run to the dance floor, and guys are left behind to sulk. Try to at least coax them to the dance floor, and if they still refuse, at least you gave it your best try. Don’t avoid or hide from your date. Not nice. Not normal. Not okay. You can probably be sure you are committing such an act if you find yourself walking around nervously, waiting for your abandoned date to jump out at you, when you least expect it, finding you at last.

Don’t stalk your date. Meaning, don’t be breathing down their neck the whole night. But if someone seems to be forgetting you’re their date, it’s okay to go up to them and ask what they want to do. Just don’t be creepy.

Don’t act like Miley Cyrus on the dance floor… and I guess that’s not literally speaking, but it seriously is the way some people dance. Biggest do of dances- and it seems so obvious considering the name of these events- but D.A.N.C.E. On the party bus or limo, at the dance, at the after party if you have one, it makes the night so much more fun. People who sulk at tables or on the benches at the dance shouldn’t even bother going. Even if you fear that you’re a horrible dancer, get over it. There isn’t much skill required in hopping up and down or grinding with someone. While it’s generally guys who avoid dancing, the ones who end up being able to let go of their fears of looking like an idiot seem to have much more fun, and in turn so do their dates.