@bvswnews what do you do when your boyfriend who graduated from high school doesn’t want to go to high school events because he’s “too old?” – Mckenna
Dear Mckenna,
The phrase “too old” could mean many things to someone. When a person uses that, it could be to cover up small things, such as feeling uncomfortable attending a high school event. Or it could just simply mean he is too old, at which point you should question the relationship. But, to graduate from high school is a moment of moving on, becoming your own independent individual and freeing yourself from the confinement of high school. Depending on how old your boyfriend is, he could have any of those feelings or all of them. One thing you need to remember, is that if he wants to be with someone who is still in high school, you must be very special to him.
When you are stuck in high school and he is out going to college or working, remember that both of you are in very different places in your lives. Being in high school, you’re supposed to have fun with friends and make memories. He is done with that chapter of his life and is in a new, more important chapter because he’s growing up. In order for a relationship like that to work, there needs to be a balance between priorities.
“You don’t want him to be disrespecting you,” counselor Kristi Dixon said. “If he is bashing high school, you should contemplate the relationship because you are still in high school.”
If going to school dances and football games is something you want to take part in, and you have to beg him to come, that’s when you need to have a talk and figure out what the real reason behind him not going is. Ask him what he means when he calls himself “too old”.
A lot of guys who have girlfriends get labeled as “whipped.” For a guy, it could degrade his pride and self-worth to have his friends classify them as being controlled by his girlfriend. We all care a little bit about what other people think of us. But, to the extent of not wanting to go to a dance because you’re afraid your college friends will think of you differently are thoughts that go through a guy’s head. There are going to be things in life that you don’t want to do. If he cares enough about you, he shouldn’t worry about his reputation. His only worry should be to make sure you are happy and are living up your high school years.
Most importantly, having a boyfriend not in high school can interfere with your friendships and also your view on high school. It’s important to keep in mind that you’re still young and having fun; you don’t need to rush your life and get out of high school because of a boy. Live up your years at home and cherish the memories you have with your friends. With your relationship, enjoy the time you have together while it lasts. Do what makes you enjoy each other, even if it takes doing something out of your comfort zone.
