It’s that kind of news you never, ever want to hear: to find out someone you love had to be rushed into emergency surgery at 9 p.m. It’s even worse when that someone is your friend, and the last time you talked to him, you fought.
Welcome to my life.
In mid-February, my friend Parker was rushed to Children’s Mercy because a sinus infection progressed into his brain. (That’s very, very bad.) After the three-hour surgery, a blood clot, caused by the procedure, was discovered in his brain. After a 20-day stay in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), he’s recovering, but he’s got a long ways to go. (And, as he will instantly tell you, six months until he can skateboard again.)
As a lifelong worrier, I can tell you those first few days were not fun.
They also got me thinking. What if something incurable had happened? Our stupid, pointless fight would have stuck with me forever. Instead of working it out with him then and there, I let my anger stew. To be honest, I don’t even remember what I was upset about, and neither did he. But when something really bad happens, any unresolved conflicts with people turn inward and eat you up.
In The Five People You Meet In Heaven, Mitch Albom (a fantastic writer and personal favorite author) writes, “Holding anger is a poison — it eats you from inside. We think that by hating someone we hurt them. But hatred is a curved blade, and the harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.”
I definitely do not hate Parker. We’ve had countless little bitty fights like this. That’s just the way we are.
We jokingly say we’ve got a love-hate relationship, with more emphasis on one or the other, depending on the day.
But when you get a piece of dramatic news like that, you’re brought back to earth with a sickening crunch. Whatever distractions you’ve been busying yourself with — taking everyday things or people you thought would always be there for granted — they all disappear. You wonder why you didn’t pay more attention to what you had before it was gone. Why do we wait for those moments? Why don’t we realize what we’ve got while we still have time to appreciate it?
The realization that nothing is permanent has definitely changed my perspective.
I want everyone I love to know that I love them, and I want them to never forget that. So, starting right now, if I find little opportunities to remind my friends and family of those things, I’m going to take them.
Mitch says that “nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say.” Again, he’s right. Think about it: I was haunted by not apologizing to Parker for a stupid fight. How many times have you wished you said what was on your mind before it was too late?
So many people say they live their life with no regrets. But what does that truly mean?
When I think of no regrets, I don’t think of partying every weekend and being as crazy as possible while I still have the excuse of youthful ignorance on my side. The picture that I have of living with no regrets is simple: peace in knowing that I did everything I could to make myself and everyone around me happy and in the knowledge that I said what was on my mind, even if it seemed like the person had heard it before.
In a third instance of Mitch Albom’s infinite wisdom, in Tuesdays With Morrie, he writes, “There is no such thing as ‘too late’ in life.”
If we accept that to be true, then today is a fantastic day to start over. I’ve thought it through, and I know what it means to me: starting now, I’m going to live with no regrets.
Welcome to my life.
In mid-February, my friend Parker was rushed to Children’s Mercy because a sinus infection progressed into his brain. (That’s very, very bad.) After the three-hour surgery, a blood clot, caused by the procedure, was discovered in his brain. After a 20-day stay in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), he’s recovering, but he’s got a long ways to go. (And, as he will instantly tell you, six months until he can skateboard again.)
As a lifelong worrier, I can tell you those first few days were not fun.
They also got me thinking. What if something incurable had happened? Our stupid, pointless fight would have stuck with me forever. Instead of working it out with him then and there, I let my anger stew. To be honest, I don’t even remember what I was upset about, and neither did he. But when something really bad happens, any unresolved conflicts with people turn inward and eat you up.
In The Five People You Meet In Heaven, Mitch Albom (a fantastic writer and personal favorite author) writes, “Holding anger is a poison — it eats you from inside. We think that by hating someone we hurt them. But hatred is a curved blade, and the harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.”
I definitely do not hate Parker. We’ve had countless little bitty fights like this. That’s just the way we are.
We jokingly say we’ve got a love-hate relationship, with more emphasis on one or the other, depending on the day.
But when you get a piece of dramatic news like that, you’re brought back to earth with a sickening crunch. Whatever distractions you’ve been busying yourself with — taking everyday things or people you thought would always be there for granted — they all disappear. You wonder why you didn’t pay more attention to what you had before it was gone. Why do we wait for those moments? Why don’t we realize what we’ve got while we still have time to appreciate it?
The realization that nothing is permanent has definitely changed my perspective.
I want everyone I love to know that I love them, and I want them to never forget that. So, starting right now, if I find little opportunities to remind my friends and family of those things, I’m going to take them.
Mitch says that “nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say.” Again, he’s right. Think about it: I was haunted by not apologizing to Parker for a stupid fight. How many times have you wished you said what was on your mind before it was too late?
So many people say they live their life with no regrets. But what does that truly mean?
When I think of no regrets, I don’t think of partying every weekend and being as crazy as possible while I still have the excuse of youthful ignorance on my side. The picture that I have of living with no regrets is simple: peace in knowing that I did everything I could to make myself and everyone around me happy and in the knowledge that I said what was on my mind, even if it seemed like the person had heard it before.
In a third instance of Mitch Albom’s infinite wisdom, in Tuesdays With Morrie, he writes, “There is no such thing as ‘too late’ in life.”
If we accept that to be true, then today is a fantastic day to start over. I’ve thought it through, and I know what it means to me: starting now, I’m going to live with no regrets.
